Happy New Year’s y’all!!🎉🎊✨
Hope y’all had a great holiday. I know sometimes the holidays can be tough. Ours was great. We had our first grandchild in May, he’s just precious. Then our second grandchild in December. 2 grand babies WOW!! I am one happy Lolly for sure!
How was your 2023? It was a year of trusting God more, being more courageous, personal growth, setting boundaries and actually sticking to them. What have you learned from it?
As we head into a new year we have the opportunity to start fresh or we can get stuck and not move forward. Friend it’s a new season.
A blank page for you to write.
A fresh start!
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19
What do you think of when I say New Years resolutions? Here are just a few. Number 1 and 2 are always neck and neck;
1. Exercise more
2. Lose weight
3. Get organized
4. Get a hobby
5. Save more money
5. Quit smoking/drink less
6. Spend more time with family
This is only to name a few.
Let me preface this by saying there is nothing wrong with doing New Years resolutions at all but I think it often promotes an all or nothing mindset. Which then turns things into good and bad categories. Which can turn things into guilt and shame because you missed the mark. I don’t know about you but I don’t need anymore guilt and shame?
Some of you know I’m a non-diet/body image wellness coach, if you didn’t now you🤣 Having struggled with an eating disorder for most of my life, the start of a new year always meant more restricting, lose weight, and exercise more. It’s never enough and if you reach your goal the mark moves again and again. Maybe you can relate. This year I’d like to offer up a different way to look at New Year’s resolutions….non diet resolutions…..especially for those who struggle with eating disorders, disordered eating, or who have been on the yo-yo diet train for many years.
God has great and mighty plans….specific plans for you and they don’t involve what you weigh or your pants size. Do we really think that you can only be used by God if you weigh a certain number?
You are more than a number on the scale or a size on your pants sweet friend.
Let’s look at some different ways you could go into the new year without diet culture screaming in your ear.
1. Practicing Self Care
That can look differently for everyone. This one is challenging for me and I’m still learning this one. But managing your everyday stress is vital. My physical therapist has been teaching me breathing exercises and it’s been very helpful.
Getting in the Word, prayer time and worship music are also vital.
Do something for yourself. You may only be able to carve out 10-15 mins a day to relax and care for yourself but do something that you enjoy.
Practicing joyful movement.
Setting boundaries and using the most underused word out there…..NO. Saying NO is not bad and NO is a complete sentence. You are not a bad person if you say NO. You have to learn your own capacity for your life. That is a form of self care. Being a good student of your body. More on the word NO later.
2. Stop Comparing
I could stay here FOREVER simply because this is something I’ve done for soooo many years. I just want you to know YOU are beautiful. YOU are unique and YOU are NOT meant to be someone else. Here’s the thing while I love Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, you are only seeing someone’s highlights. You don’t see that they took 20 pictures to post that perfect one, not to mention it’s filtered. We look at their life and think everything is all perfect when in reality it’s not. Get comfortable with who you are and where you’re at. Easier said than done I know. But God created you and doesn’t want a clone of you my friend. You have unique gifts and talents that ONLY YOU HAVE.
3. Cultivate A Grateful Heart
Take a few minutes every day and just be thankful for what you have. You may not have everything you want but looking for things to be thankful for can totally change your perspective. Start small if you have too. “Today I’m thankful for hot water.” There are people all over the world that don’t have hot water and even clean water at all.
It’s all about our Perspective.
4. The Should’s and Shouldn’t
Are you familiar with the Should’s and Shouldn’t? Ohhhh man, I sure am. Condemnation has hung around for far too long for me. I can “should” myself to death.
I should.
I must.
I shouldn’t.
I must be perfect.
Perform perfectly.
I have been here for far too long. Instead use words like;
‘I may’
‘I get too’
‘I can’
And ‘it’s ok.’
These words bring freedom instead of legalism and condemnation.
“I’m free to eat this piece of cake.”
This category of food isn’t all bad, I can eat all food.”
“I can live a balanced life.”
“It’s OK if I feel this way.”
This brings freedom my friend!! It has taken me a long time to get to this place and I’m not “perfect” at it but I’m so thankful to be on a road to recovery and for God leading me and growing more every day.
5. Setting Healthy Boundaries
This one is tough right? Why you ask? Because it’s hard to say “NO” for most of us, we don’t want to disappoint people or let them down. So that makes it easy to get caught up in people pleasing. We say yes to things we really don’t want to do and then resent people and start harboring unforgiveness and we get caught in a vicious cycle. I’m waaaaaaay to familiar with this one. Our emotions get wrapped up into people pleasing and it easily relates back to food and can cause you harm.
People pleasing has been my middle name, praise God I’ve gotten better! Be true to yourself my friend. Yes, helping others is good but not to the determent of your health AND the growth of the other person. Often times we hinder others the benefit and pain of growing.
Learn NO! It’s a beautiful word and something great to work on this year.
“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where i end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom. Taking responsibility for my life opens up many different options. Boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out. Setting boundaries inevitably involves taking responsibility for your choices. You are the one who makes them. You are the one who must live with their consequences. And you are the one who may be keeping yourself from making the choices you could be happy with. We must own our own thoughts and clarify distorted thinking.” Henry Cloud
6. Negative Self Talk
Mmmm, this one right here!! I am my own worst critic. Can you relate? This is one I’ve had to work at sooooo much. Well, all of them, lol. I still battle with this sometimes. Uggghhh….Stinkin thinkin!
Renewing your mind is CRUCIAL! Speaking LIFE! Getting in agreement with what God’s word says about you instead of what that negative committee is saying about you and your situation.
Change your focus. Set your mind on things above and keep it set….Col 3:2
This will be hard work but thoughts will come and go but His word gives us instructions on what to do when those negative thoughts come….and they will I promise. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Stay on your guard my friend. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).
While I was in coaching session, I learned about the Philippians 4:8 filter and I do this allllll the time now. Run your thoughts and fears through this filter:
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8
In closing, I hope I have made you think beyond the typical weight loss goal of a New Years resolutions. My prayer for you is that you will have a good relationship with Lord first and foremost and then yourself. You can’t get away from yourself lol. You are with you every where you go.
Being able to get off that Yo-Yo diet train is hard work for sure but worth it. Having a healthy relationship with food and yourself is so important. Loving yourself, embracing who you are, flaws and all is freeing. I’m not totally there yet but praise God I’m not where I use to be!
What a year 2023 has been in my ED recovery and my life personally. I’m SOOOO beyond thankful and truly blown away by Gods love for me and my family. I have seen His hand like never before. Regardless, if certain things don’t change or get better God is always faithful and He’s never ever let me go, or left me. And guess what…..He won’t leave you either sweet friend.
2023 I WELCOME YOU! I look forward to seeing what God will do and how He will use me and how I will grow and change more.
GO GOD!! Do it!! You are gonna do AMAZING THINGS THIS YEAR I KNOW IT!! It’s the year of MIRACLES!
God bless you!
Big hugs,
Nicole 💗
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