Having an eating disorder or disordered eating is all consuming. It’s so insidious. Diet culture puts all these images in your head of how you are supposed to be, weigh, and look. Always comparing, always judging myself, and never measuring up. One of the best things I did was clean up my social media. Even though I’m free of the eating disorder things can still trigger thoughts and behaviors so I am very vigilant and protective of my environment and my circle. Recent example of how quickly those thoughts can rush in and how we have to take every thought captive right when it happens. We took a family group photo, the angle of it was terrible. I already knew I wasn’t going to like it but it’s a memory so I did it. I have been sick a lot lately and had a good bit of steroids 😭 well we all know it makes your face round and puffy. I hate them but a necessary evil sometimes. When I saw the picture I immediately was like how awful it was and Oh My Gosh it made me look so fat and ugly. Yep, that was my thoughts. Not what a precious memory. Then I start going down the list of what I need to do to be “thinner” and more accepted, oh don’t forget how I was comparing myself. Literally, this is all in seconds of seeing the picture and for a few mins I was back in “old Nicole” I don’t ever want to be back in the darkness like that. So I pull out my arsenal and start talking to myself . I like to use Philippians 4:8 filter, let me explain. I take the verse and compare it to whatever I’m thinking and if it doesn’t line up to God’s Word then it has to go.
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.
The thoughts I was thinking about myself were they honorable, pure, lovely, and so on. Well, no absolutely NOT. I was saying awful things about myself. So I was able to reel myself back in pretty quickly. But it’s hard work to do it, but oh friend it’s so worth it. You are not more loved or valuable because you lost weight, live in a thin body, or look a certain way. You are LOVED AND VALUABLE JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. That’s the honest truth but sometimes we don’t want to believe God will love us where we are at.
His love for you is everlasting and unconditional.
Recently, I was around a conversation about a loved one and this is how it went. Someone says to this person “WOW!!! You look great so and so, you’ve lost weight!” Well, of course the person says yea I have, thank you for noticing. But let me say WEIGHT LOSS DOESN’T EQUAL HEALTHY. This person isn’t healthy at all. They are stuck in unhealthy issues, they are not taking care of themselves at all, skips meals, and don’t take their medications…..oh but they’ve lost weight (hope you can hear the sarcasm) 😒😳 and people make comments that help that person stay stuck in unhealthy patterns when they have no clue.
I don’t know why we think it’s ok to comment on peoples body size and weight loss. I use to do it too. You have no idea what that person is going through. I can say this because I have struggled with an eating disorder myself and getting comments on weight loss and appearance drove me deeper. I wanted to be perfect but the only perfect person is JESUS.
I know someone who got Covid and it seriously affected them with taste and smell. They could hardly eat anything, this went on like year’ish. This person I would say was already thin but when this happened they lost weight. They were telling me how others commented on “Wow, you’ve lost weight, you look great!” Again, with the commenting on someone’s body size. This person lost weight because of a health condition and couldn’t eat. They weren’t trying to lose weight but they couldn’t help it. They simply couldn’t eat.
Another friend had cancer, not known to everyone but because of chemo they lost weight and people commented how great she looked not having any idea what she was going through. They weren’t trying to lose weight but others commenting about weight loss was so hurtful to her.
Maybe you’ve never thought about this but truly you have no idea what people are going through behind closed doors. We can dress it up, filter it, and act as if everything is fine when we are broken on the inside.
Maybe you are the one who wears the mask, filters you life, photos, and acts as if everything is fine but sweet friend I see you and your brokenness and YOU are loved and valuable just the way you are. Allow Jesus into the broken places and find your people. You can be Broken and beautiful despite what the world says.
Whatever you are going through God has you in the palm of His hand and He longs to set you free. You have been through things that can help someone else. Share your story.
Hope you have a blessed and wonderful week!
Big hugs,
Nicole💗
https://youtu.be/sIcL3YX7jSc?si=tDY3VuSez9Sb68GU
You make broken beautiful ❤️❤️❤️
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